Tuesday, June 16, 2009

IT`S RAINING!!! TIME FOR THE RECAP!!!

I know it`s about time but it has been hectic around here to say the least. If anyone ever tells you that 3 kids aren`t any more work than 2 kids they are lying!! Everyone has been asking us how in the world did you decide to adopt and why in the world Ukraine? Well, we might as well start at the beginning. This is going to be a long post so you might want to grab a beverage of your choice and sit back and read. I type slow so you slower readers will be able to keep up.

About two years ago I had seen an article on my MSN homepage at work and started looking at the links. One of the links took me to the "Ukrainian Angels" website and it showed a gal by the name of Cathy Harris from Florida that had adopted numerous children from Ukraine over the years and she was now helping families do the same thing independently without using an adoption agency. For whatever reason I saved it to my favorites and every once in awhile I would open up the site and look at the pictures of all the little tykes that various families had adopted and the pictures of the kids still in the orphanages. At that point I had no intentions that I was aware of anyway and didn`t give it anymore thought.

About six months later I had come home and Gail was on the computer staring intently at the screen and she sidestepped me a little bit when I asked what she was looking at. Well, lo and behold she was looking at an adoption site. I mentioned that she might want to go to Ukrainian Angels. org and she gave me the goofiest look( not the "stink eye", just a goofy kinda look). Well, that was the start of the whole ordeal.

We sorta thought at that point we might as well check into it together as long as we were already doing it seperately sort of. We contacted Cathy in Florida and she gave us a breakdown of prices, travel, documents needed etc etc. While we were doing this we also took the time and researched domestic adoption and attended a seminar in Rochester also. The seminar in Rochester was done by an agency and we left there thinking that if we are going to do this we are going to wing it ourselves.

After a little discussing and talking with the boys we found ourselves telling Cathy that we are "gonna do it"! At this point Collin and Tory wanted a little sister and they made themselves pretty clear on the matter! Here is the paperwork sequence in the order that we remember doing it. Keep in mind we had to do all this to put together a dossier(all the paperwork) to send to the officials in Ukraine. The catch is while you do all this, once the dossier gets over there none of the things can expire within 6 months of submitting. For example- if we had physicals done on Jan 1, 2007 the paper work would have to be submitted and approved by June 1, 2007 or it would be expiring within the 6 month time limit. All the documents had to be signed by a notary and then sent to the state attorney general to get apostilled with an official stamp. ( apostilling is basically the state making sure the notary that signed and stamped them previously is really who they say the are.)

- Home study, we had to hire an agency to send a social worker out to evaluate whether or not our family is suitable, housing is suitable and whether or not we could afford another mouth to feed. We also had to attend classes in Eden Prairie as part of this requirement.

- Paperwork to the INS to get approval for the international part.

- fingerprints and background check at the federal level.

- fingerprints and background check for the state level.

- fingerprints and background check at the county level.

- physicals for Gail and myself.

- letters of reference

- employment certification from employers.

- wage statements from employers.

- tax statements from years past.

- foreign power`s of attorney

- marriage license



I`m sure I have missed some things but you get the gist of it- lots of paperwork. And yes, we drug our feet a bit and had to do some over again as some documents expired before they got submitted.

While the paperwork was being completed we stayed in touch with Cathy with any questions we had and she gave us the e-mail address of our facilitator in Ukraine. His name is Vlad and he would be the guy over there arranging the translator, submitting paperwork and doing the legwork before we got there. During this period we had high hopes of getting there, getting it done and getting home but things don`t always go as planned, especially in Ukraine. Finally we received an e-mail in Sept that our dossier should be submitted in Nov.. With 30 days to accept us or deny us and 4-6 weeks for our appointment, that meant we would be travelling early to mid January. This worked out really well for me as this would be the slowest time of the year at work. That was the good part, the bad part was that the panic started to set in as to what in the world are we doing?? :-)

We got plane tickets booked with an adoption discount which is substantial and started making the arrangements for everything else when we were gone. In no specific order- bills paid, Collin and Tory arrangements(Thanks Kenny and Judy), dog chore person,(Thanks Jeff)housesitter( Thanks Brady)etc,etc.

Well after dragging out for over a year and a half the travel date zoomed up on us. We were ready for the most part but realized that we were putting a whole lot of trust in people that we had never met and travelling 9000 miles to do it. At this point we figured that we would go over there , pick up a little girl, come home in 3-5 weeks and things would be hunky dory. WRONG!!! Two days before we left I got the flu. I never get the flu, but I sure had it now!! The 4 trips/hour to the bathroom flu!

Finally the big day was here. We had to fly out of Mpls. to Chicago, from there to Dusseldorf Germany and from there to Kyiv. We arrived at the airport plenty early for our departure and said our good byes to the kids. For me this was the hardest part. We were leaving to a foreign country, didn`t know when we would be back and would be away from the boys that we had never been away from before for more than a day or two. We didn`t have too much time at that point to dwell on it because I had to get going!!! Not on the airplane though, you remember where I mentioned the flu?? Yup-I had to find a bathroom and find one quick! This was gonna be a long trip.

Arrived in Chicago O`Hare after a little ride and found our gate for the long ride. About an hour later we boarded on a Lufthansa flight on a real big dog airplane. 4 seats in the middle and two rows down both sides. Three hundred and some people. All I thought about was Gail`s old boss Dr. John DDS. (forensic guru) He always said if you are gonna crash in an airplane to shove a thumb up your butt before you hit the ground so that they can get one good fingerprint for identification purposes.
The plane ride itself was very long but with the movies and all the service from the flight crew it went pretty well. We had a couple meals, snacks, beverages and were waited on quite often. Alot more cushy than say a domestic flight. Remember when I said I had the stomach flu?- yup, there were a couple mad dashes down the aisles to the bathrooms.
Arrived in Dusseldorf, Germany after 9 hours in the air at about 4:00 am their time. The customs there were brutal. These people took their job way too seriously. Had to take off jackets, open cases and explain what my Maalox was. They found Gail`s money pouch but didn`t even try to see if I had one.
After sitting at our gate for a 2 hour layover we were told that our flight to Kyiv was going to be delayed due to the fog. After an extra hour or so we were able to get on a smaller plane and we were finally on our way to Kyiv. This was the point where the reality was finally starting to set in. You know- "the what in the world are we doing feeling". This plane was not nearly as nice and I was thinking about the "thumb" thing again but we safely touched down in Kyiv about 3 hrs later . There were no gates per say as we know them. We were met on the tarmac by a bus that took us to the terminal where we picked out our luggage. You have probably heard the saying " We are not in Kansas anymore ToTo". It was very different to say the least. We had to fill out forms as to why we were there and where we were going to stay etc. etc. Try telling a customs guy that we really didn`t know where we were actually staying. Finally he said just put down "hotel" . That worked for me!! Then we had to go through a security check point with x-ray and guards. I wasn`t too worried about this as the guy looking at the x-ray machine had his feet up and looked to be half asleep.
We gathered our luggage and made our way out into the terminal to see if someone was going to be there to meet us as we had hoped. Sure enough, there was a gal about 30-35 years old holding up a sign with our names on it. This gal was Luba who was to be our translator for the time we were to be here. She took us out to the waiting car where she had a driver ready. Also there was our facilitator Vlad. We paid him his balance that we owed him for his services and we were off. The airport is a ways out of town and our driver lost no time in getting us to where we were going. The thought that we could be dropped off and robbed or worse and nobody would ever know what happened did cross our mind but we had to trust that everything would work out. We had a cell phone with us from another past adoptive couple so Luba had us stop and get a phone card with prepaid minutes on it. Everyone over there uses these cards as they are sold everywhere. I think the idea of a monthly cell phone bill would be a strange concept for them. From there we were taken to our apartment about a block off of the main square. We had to walk through a gate and down a dark alley to the apartment and we were thinking- " great!- what a place to get mugged and killed". I don`t think Dr. John`s thumb trick would work in Ukraine. Our apartment building on the outside was far from fancy but the actual apartment itself was pretty nice. The next day was going to be our first appointment so Luba told us she would meet us at the square at I believe 1:00 for our 2:00 appointment.
The next morning after hardly any sleep we ventured down to the square to eat at the most popular restaurant in Kyiv. Yup- McDonalds. Real similar to home but way different. Some same items on the menu but quite a few different ones. Some that come to mind are the seasoned potatoes as well as french fries, sundaes with a cone cup, fried fish, coca cola "lite" not diet, no 1/4 pounders, pay for condiments ( nothing free). The strangest thing that first day at a Ukrainian McDonalds was the people drinking beer with their egg mcmuffins. It wasn`t uncommon at all to see drinking going on in the morning. Later on in the trip in Kramatorsk we saw 14-16 year olds on their way to school drinking bottles of beer. But anyways, at 1:00 we went to the corner to meet Luba for our appt. We dressed in our dress clothes we had along for our appts. and court. She met us right when she was supposed to and away we went. We walked up a steep street and across a courtyard and down a few more blocks where we arrived in front of a non-descript building which was the dreaded "SDA". We had no idea what to expect but figured we would just hold on and see what happened. We went into a little side door where there were a couple of other couples standing around and we waited for our translator to come and get us. Finally Luba came out and said to follow her. We went upstairs to a little office where there was one couple looking at pictures of children on the coffee table and we were taken to a little office in back. We were introduced to this little gal who looked like she had just flown in on her broom. After looking through our dossier and asking us why we were there and what we wanted she proceeded to lay I believe 11 or 12 files in front of us. At this point we were a little panicked as there were no files that "jumped out" and said " This is the one". All the kids had issues of some sort which is common over there but still we thought that something would stand out for us. Well, nothing stood out and to show that we were sincere, we picked out what we thought was the healthiest child of the group. This little girl was " Elina" in Mariupol. Luba had seen this little girl while at that orphanage before and didn`t remember her as being as ill as her file said. We left the SDA at about 4:00 with the understanding that we were to come back the next day ( Friday) to get our paperwork and jump a train to Mariupol. We contacted Dr. Yuri to travel with us to evaluate this little girl and determine health etc etc. Dr Yuri is a doctor based in Kyiv that does evaluations for adoptive parents as a sideline.
On Friday we packed up and were ready to do our paperwork and train ride to Mariupol. The paperwork went without a hitch and we were off to the train station to meet Dr. Yuri.------- continued on the next rain day-------------------------( my pointer fingers are getiing tired from typing) :-)